The sad thing about all this is, I don't hate Vikki in fact I'm still very much in love with her and I know I would take her back despite everything, now why would I do that if I could have someone else, someone more normal?, why would my whole life revolve around Vikki?, why would I sit here writing about her day after day, she not doing the same for me in fact she's doing the opposite, she blocked my accounts so she doesn't feel guilty, so she cant see how much I'm hurting and so can continue to believe her own lies because in her eyes there's no proof so she can believe what she wants but people will see the truth and people will realise what she's actually like. I stay in the house 24/7 I have depression and anxiety, I left her home because I needed looked after, I have no friends, I have no Facebook, the only people I see is my mum, my sisters, my step dad and my best friend, I don't watch TV, the only social media I have is this blog, google+ and Pinterest and there all publically visible, there's no secret messages or secret meetings, I don't go anywhere or doing anything so there certainly nobody else there's no opportunity or motive, Vikki on the other hand goes to college, talks to anybody and everybody, goes out daily, sends private messages to people, has a million opportunity's to meet someone else and even has the motive of "well you done it first" but yet she still accuses me of being the cheat and the one that's moved on and replaced her, the only person I could ever replace her with is my fucking dog because that's the only person who gets in my bed. I hope she's happy in whatever she's doing and I hope she gets help for her mental health and achieves everything she wants and as painful as it is to say but I really hope she finds love, real love that makes her want to be a better person, the same kind of love I had for her, Vikki changed me and I'm a better person now than I ever was and for the first time time time in 18 years I'm ready to fight for my life back, I'm ready to be what I was supposed to be, I'm ready to just be me, I hope she manages to fight her demons and become what I know she is capable of.
I'll always love you Vikki and I'll never forget you.
todays the day I take a leaf out of your book and get my life back
I wanna learn to be happy just like you are
I wanna to forget all my feeling for you just like you have for me
I want to be proud of myself just like I am of you
I'm gonna prove that I am a good person and your lies wont work.
goodbye and god bless m one true love.